We're here to help with the second half of that next move — lining up a successor. As you know, this gets more challenging with every failed Raiders coaching regime. Once it was easy enough to compile a short list of familiar names and unheralded wunderkinds. These days the short list of men who would even consider the job could be scribbled on the back of a business card.
Ted Tollner. Currently a Raiders assistant, he's available and on-site. That's not the only reason he'd be an ideal battlefield promotion. He's been a head coach at three different levels — junior college (College of San Mateo), college (San Diego State), and semipro (USC). Given that he's currently the team's passing game coordinator, he might be eager for a new assignment. Odds: 9-1.
Paul Hackett. Currently the Raiders quarterbacks coach, he might be even more eager than Tollner for a change of scenery. Served as head coach at Pitt and USC. Odds: 15-1
Joe the Plumber. It's been quite a year for Samuel Wurzelbacher, who rocketed to prominence during John McCain's presidential bid last fall. Ol' Sammy Joe is a hard worker, as evidenced by his desperate struggle to maintain his infamy. Odds: The-biggest-number-you-can-think-of-divided-by-2-1.
Jim Fassel. You know the story. Led the New York Giants to the Super Bowl. Crazy-mad to get another NFL head coaching job. Informed Davis of his interest in the Raiders position in a letter written last fall. Odds: 20-1
Rush Limbaugh. Bitter after being dropped from the group trying to buy the St. Louis Rams, this could be his sweet revenge. Yes, there would be the obligatory jokes about conservative game plans and running to the right. But after blaming his failed bid on "the hatred that exists ... in the sports writer community," his news conferences would be priceless. Then again, he'd have to take a 97 percent pay cut. Odds: 500-1.
Jim Haslett. Briefly a linebackers coach for the L.A. Raiders, he once spoke to Davis about being the head coach in Oakland. Had a respectable six-year run as coach of the New Orleans Saints, and a forgettable 12-game interim slog with the St. Louis Rams. Odds: 50-1
Javon Walker. Hey, you might as well get something for all that money. Odds: 250-1.