Heres a good one for Ya!

by S-n-B4life on Jul 16, 2009 7:29 PM PDT

A Raiders fan, a Broncos fan and a Chiefs fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Chiefs fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Chiefs fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Broncos fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Bronco fan out crying like a little girl.

The Raiders fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Raiders fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the Broncos fan to my back."

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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

and rec’d

Rookie: "Why did you bench me?"
Nellie: "Your a rookie"

by dubzfan on Jul 16, 2009 7:44 PM PDT reply actions

Baaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha

Just brilliant, and a great way to start the day :D

"Mel Kiper has his opinion and I respect it. But what does it mean? My 9-year-old nephew can watch film and make an opinion. I think I value the opinion of scouts who get paid to make their opinions. It will carry me through my career. It will serve as motivation for me." - Mike Mitchell

by Ozraider on Jul 16, 2009 8:08 PM PDT via mobile reply actions

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That was hella funny I would give that 2 rec’s but, I can’t so I’ll give 0ne

Amazing, Jamarcus Russell hands off to McFadden who pitches it back to Russell who finds Darrius Heyward Bey in the Middle of the Field wide open 30, 20,10,5 Touchdown Raiders! Amazing. This telecast is Brought to you by Cable.

by nishal26 on Jul 16, 2009 9:02 PM PDT reply actions

I am there for ya

rec’d care of nishal26

oh ya & I LMAO

PREPAREDNESS_Because those goddamn zombies aren’t going to kill themselves

by adragon on Jul 23, 2009 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions

LMAO

Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up!!

by naq92 on Jul 16, 2009 9:49 PM PDT reply actions

LMFAO!!!!

Stop.......... Hammertime!!!!!

by MR. Bigshot 123 on Jul 16, 2009 11:34 PM PDT reply actions

Great Stuff

Made my late night.

R.I.P - Michael Jackson

by Rayder K on Jul 17, 2009 12:20 AM PDT reply actions

LOL

Those donkeys need to be wipped a couple more times this year!

"May the wind be at our back, here comes the Silver and Black "

by RUKidding on Jul 17, 2009 4:02 AM PDT reply actions

I was having a bad day today

but I read this and it brightened my mood a bit. Thank you so very much for this.

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jul 17, 2009 11:39 AM PDT reply actions

haha awesome... just one small typo!

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the ~~Raiders~~ Broncos fan out crying like a little girl.

by Wern on Jul 17, 2009 12:00 PM PDT reply actions

Yeah, I saw that too

But just didn’t say it

by nishal26 on Jul 17, 2009 3:37 PM PDT reply actions

I was reading it aloud to a niner fan at work:

Then like a dummy, I said “Raider”

But when they start scheming us the way these guys did, and we weren't particularly ready for it, anything can happen."

by Raymond St. Martin (Saint) on Jul 17, 2009 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions

Sorry

the sad part is I proof read it!
Thanks for fixing it!

The future is uncertain... and the end is always near. JMorrison

by S-n-B4life on Jul 17, 2009 10:26 PM PDT up reply actions

really off-topic but i need some advice/help

I really really like this girl, well actually I’m head-over-heels in love with her, and I really want to tell her that I do (or at least say I like her so I don’t weird her out with the word “love”) but I don’t want to make things awkward between us if she doesn’t feel the same way (which very highly doubt she does cause she’s popular and let’s just say I’m not) because we’ve become really good, close friends. What should I do?

sigh…………..8 days till she gets back from the beach

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jul 17, 2009 5:10 PM PDT reply actions

send her a text

saying something like “wanna make out, or wanna fuck.” and if she says no, just say one of your friends sent that. ; )

Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up!!

by naq92 on Jul 17, 2009 5:16 PM PDT up reply actions

What The Hell

I wouldn’t do that but, it is up to you

by nishal26 on Jul 17, 2009 5:47 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm 14

and I doubt she’d believe that.

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jul 17, 2009 6:10 PM PDT up reply actions

lmfao

ive done that b4 hahaha

Punjabi by Nature

by Robby1987 on Jul 18, 2009 8:40 PM PDT up reply actions

Do not get caught in the friend zone.

And do not kiss her ass! Tease her when you can. Say things that she has to wonder if they are a compliment or not, otherwise known as a neg. Something like “I love your hair do, it reminds me of looking at pictures of my mom when she was younger.” Ignore her when she is around her friends by paying more attention to her friends. Make her feel the need to win you over.

Be cocky-funny, confident and demonstrate some value for example learn a psychological test where she answers a few questions and you can tell her what kind of person she is. Or learn a magic trick or something.

Wherever I go, that's where I am.

by Rich Langford on Jul 17, 2009 9:12 PM PDT up reply actions

The A’s blog is a great place to go for that.

Trust me on this one.

The Ultimate Opportunist

by Rated-R Superstar on Jul 17, 2009 11:55 PM PDT up reply actions

...was that a joke?

i dont get it? i HOPE your not dissing my a’s

Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up!!

by naq92 on Jul 18, 2009 12:12 AM PDT up reply actions

No, they’ve helped me out before. Well, they tried, and tonight’s game thread was fun.

The Ultimate Opportunist

by Rated-R Superstar on Jul 18, 2009 12:31 AM PDT up reply actions

oh, ok. haha

mybad

Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up!!

by naq92 on Jul 18, 2009 10:50 AM PDT up reply actions

you would know NC-17

PREPAREDNESS_Because those goddamn zombies aren’t going to kill themselves

by adragon on Jul 23, 2009 11:18 AM PDT up reply actions

some friendly advice

listen girls can be tricky so what u wanna do is play the game the best u can ….make her think that u like her but if she doent like u then ur gonna find someone else and its no big deal… the last thing a girl wants is to be loved by someone that isnt the BF for a while u know

they wanna have to work to gan ur love so PLAY IT COOL make it known that u wanna be with her but dont seem like ur gonna be upset if shes not into u …. then whether things go the way u want or not she knows u like her and then its up to her …it might take like a month or two for her to feel the same but if its meant to to be she’ll start to show signs when she feels the same… U like her right? now u have to find a way to get her to like u dont do anyhitng stupid and BE PATIENT plant the seed in her head and then be paitent enough to let it grow… GOOD luck and keep us posted

"The only yardstick for success our society has is being a champion. No one remembers anything else."

by BRIANMULHALL on Jul 18, 2009 5:35 AM PDT up reply actions

plant your seed in her head?

Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up!!

by naq92 on Jul 18, 2009 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions

Whoa Freaky!! Hahaha

by nishal26 on Jul 18, 2009 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions

its the best i got

theres nothing more complicated then giving advice about girls …theres no two that are the same and what works with one will never work for another… so u gotta be fearless and dont get embarrassed easily

"The only yardstick for success our society has is being a champion. No one remembers anything else."

by BRIANMULHALL on Jul 18, 2009 2:52 PM PDT up reply actions

i know man

just playin around. it was good advice : )

Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up!!

by naq92 on Jul 19, 2009 8:55 AM PDT up reply actions

Hummmm

Flurt is my Advise

Make sure you get everyone here’s too

by nishal26 on Jul 17, 2009 5:13 PM PDT reply actions

I will make sure

flirting is not my expertise but I’ll try that. but I still need some more than just flirting. want to hear from more than you and naq

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jul 17, 2009 6:14 PM PDT up reply actions

Try

Touching Appropriately, Eye contact, Talking about something Interesting, a nice setting, alone just Ya’ll 2 and then just tell her. I ain’t gonna put the words in your mouth but, keep it short and sweet.

by nishal26 on Jul 17, 2009 6:38 PM PDT up reply actions

unfortunately

I can never be alone with her since we only see each other at school. And trust me, trying to do something with her outside of school is not a really an option.

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jul 18, 2009 6:16 AM PDT up reply actions

You should Watch (Hitch)

by nishal26 on Jul 18, 2009 9:34 AM PDT up reply actions

lol ya. i was jking

not that it doesnt work.

Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up!!

by naq92 on Jul 17, 2009 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions

keep acting like freinds, just a little more every day.

by r8er.4.life on Jul 21, 2009 3:50 PM PDT up reply actions

basically is what I'm doing now

Randy Blythe, Singer of Lamb of God- "Words can be broken, so can bones....." Omerta by Lamb of God

by KA1Z3R on Jul 21, 2009 5:25 PM PDT up reply actions

Did You watch Hitch yet?

by nishal26 on Jul 21, 2009 5:43 PM PDT up reply actions

Well,

than eventually, if you direct the friendship where you want it to go, little by little, It should workout. I also noticed that u said u weren’t popular. I know u didn’t ask for being popular, but if u want the girl, and she’s it’ll probably help.
hangout with whoever she hangs out with, just only when she’s there. DON’T BE SHY WHEN WITH POPULAR PEOPLE IF YOU WANT TO BECOME POPULAR, which u do if u want the girl.
But, that doesn’t mean do crack (unless u have always wanted to, because trust me, that s**t is goooooooooddddd!!!!!!!!! JK JK JK) or chug beer. it means If u guyz have dance parties (u said ur 14, so I doubt it)and most of the popular kids are dancing, DO NOT just sit there & watch, Dance!
And if you can’t dance watch “Napoelian Dynamite” (I’m the worst speller in my class, if not my school.)
PS: It’ll help If there’s boy-girl things at ur school.

by r8er.4.life on Jul 24, 2009 9:42 AM PDT up reply actions

here's the best advice period

believe me…all guys have been in your shoes at the age of 14, 15 16 and so on and so on. we have totally felt head over heals about a girl or 2 or 3. that’s the best part of being a teenage guy. So listen closely to what i’m gonna drop on you. DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME TRYING TO DO ANYTHING YOU WOULDN’T ALREADY DO! you gotta be you. definately keep the friendship because that could alway pan out somewhere down the line in the future. girls never forget who was nice to them when they were younger. but really there will be dozens of girls that come in and out of your life that will make your little heart dance. and there will be just as many that will break your heart. so don’t figure that you will be missing out on the love of your life if you don’t play your cards exactly right with this particular girl. if something works out great. and if it doesn’t, hey to the next episode. is that makin some sense?

by iBleedSnB on Jul 28, 2009 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions