Dear friends and fellow followers:
When it comes to telling you of the future, I am merely a messenger and this week I bear good news. First let me tell you of the journey. It has been a wild week for the Great One.
I went back to check on the Sibyls. I was hoping to hear news of RaiderDamus, but I found a vacant and ransacked cave. There was a note, "If you want your harem back, give us our money or your head!" I knew it was urgent that I find RaiderDamus, but how was I going to do this?
I decided to sample some of the ethylene gas, to see what I could "see." It was then that I was visited by the ghost of Dr. Dre.
Me: Dr. Dre?
Me: What the hell? You're not dead or are you? Who knows, this is some good gas man. Want some?
Dre: Shut up. The Oracle needs to speak to you. Follow this map and you'll find him. I have to go, I need to record the next note on Detox.
And just like that he took a big hit off of the e-gas and was gone, but the map remained. I followed the map with great haste and soon I found him alone in a cave. We spoke of many things. I told him what happened, but he said he already knew. "Of course you do. You're RaiderDamus."
Long story short, for those of you concerned with the Master's mental state, he is doing some serious soul searching after losing everything from missing two games in a row propelled him to the depths of rock bottom. He knew he hit bottom when he woke up with a pain in his head where memories should be and Rosie O'Donnell next to him.
He scrounged some change from the folds of Rosie's flesh and put it on the Giants. He is on his way back. If the Raiders cover he will have enough to get his Sibyls free from the evil DeNiro. Anyway, here is our gift from the Master:
RaiderDamus has been deep in his cave this week, ceasing his visions of the Raiders only so long as to witness his favorite baseball team, the Giants, decimating the Rangers in the World Series. There are many things to be seen regarding the Raiders this week. Here is what RaiderDamus foretells:
The Seahawks are a mystery. They have a good defense,, they have a bad defense. They have a run game, but they can't run the ball. They can pass, but they really can't. Tony Dungy thinks they are the best team in the NFC. I say it's the Falcons, but the Seahawks are undoubtedly the best team in the NFC West, with the Rams, Niners and Cardinals ranging anywhere from mediocre to historically awful. Which team will show up this week? The one that got killed by the Rams, or the one that beat the Cardinals?
Let's start with the location of the game. It will be played in the Oakland Coliseum on Halloween. I can only think of a few scarier places than that, and most of them involve Rose O'Donnell's bathroom. I would not want to be the Seahawks this week. Instead of just one section dressed up in scary costumes, the entire stadium will be decked out in attire that would make Satan himself cower in fear.
The Seahawks may be the class of their division, but they will be shell-shocked in Oakland. The Raiders are finally healthy (read: McFadden and Gallery are finally healthy). The Raiders put up 59 against a decent Donkey team last week on the road, and there's no real reason to think they can't run all over the Chickens this week...
Except that this is the Raiders, who can't win two games in a row. I fear they will revert to their old uncreative ways, ala the Niner game. Hopefully Al has put his foot down and said "this is how we play". He loves beating the Donkeys. If the Raiders can execute their game plan, which I suspect they will be able to do, they will win. Hzasselbeck was once a top-flite QB, but now he is old and slow. Justin Forsett and Marshawn Lynch are good Cal Bear RBs and can go off at any time, but the Chickens' O-line isn't great outside of Okung. Jared Veldheer ought to be able to ruin the shit of any opposing DE who dares get in his way.
On to the stats: Campbell will have a pretty good game, around 200 yards and a TD pass, probably to a guy named Miller. McFadden and Bush will combine for 220 yards rushing. Our defense will come up huge against Hasselbeck and pick him twice. Lynch and Forsett together won't break 120 yards. Our return game will set us up for good field position. We will roll.
Raiders win, 33-17.
Let us not forget his lil' Dam. He is after all coming off of the prediction of the century.
There will be no Black out in Raider ville.for the first time since last years seasons opener vs SD the Coliseum is sold out and there will be no escaping the gravity well of The Black Hole for the seachickens.seattle will be stuned when the Raiders come out throwing early and often.
Campbell throws for 300+ yds and 2 TD's(over half of which will come from dump offs and screans to DMC,Reece and Z,Miller)including at least one big one to DHB.
Fear not Raider faitfull,the running game will not be abandon.for the second week in a row DMC gains over 100 yd's with 2 Td's,Bush also has a solid game and 1 TD.
The Raiders Defense comes up with a big play for a TD.once again D/ST help when the battle of field position and ar key to another Raiders victory!
At the end of fisrt half Raiders lead 21-14
seahawks score midway through the 3rd quarter to tie the game,but a Big Defensive play for a TD on seattles next position ignites the Raiders and the capacity crowd.
Raiders 42-seahawks 21 Final
As always, tell everyone what you see.