Good day RRRAIDER Nation Brethren. If you do not meet said criteria, #### your team.
Upon seeing a report that Jamarcus (AKA Fat Basterd) will not be at voluntarily workouts, the following thoughts ran through my head:
1) You big fat steaming bust dungpile. I hope you get hit by a runaway septic truck.
2) I love Bruce Gradkowski. I want to carve our names in the oak tree out front.
3) I miss Bo Jackson.
4) I wonder what T.O. would look like in black and silver on the sidelines abusing JMarc, but beyond verbally like he did everywhere else. This time with a steel chair and taser.
The Big Gradkowski is working his tail off. I hope Mr. Cable tells Jmarc (AKA Tons of fun) to take his box and get out, you obese lazy bum.
Here's what I'm looking forward to this year:
Zach Miller: If Grads gets the job, he'll be a pro-bowler.
Louis Murphy: After watching you block the entire Philly team on one play, you get a pass for life with me my friend. Until you leave the RRRAIDERS. Then #### you and the new team you rode in on. I love this guy's fire. I just hope that JMarc (AKA Moobs McGillicutty) doesn't put it out my trying to roast marshmallows over it for smores. You degenerate skin sack of flab.
Chris Johnson: While you are going to get the most opportunity than any CB in the league, Nnamdi will be on the other side of the field napping in his new hammock in between happy endings and being fed grapes by exotic skanks. Quit gambling and make a few plays.
Mike Mitchell: Bring the pain. Channel Tatum and get this defense some swagger.
Michael Bush: It's your show. Demand 20+ carries a game and make it apparent to McFadden believers that he is a bust.