The End of Hyphen-Nation

Snakebit.

It's a term I use often, usually referring to myself. It's often used in sports to describe a rash of bad luck. Consider one time Raider Daunte Culpepper. A man who was out of football when the lowly Detroit Lions gave him a call, asking him to be their QB so their daisy fresh rookie, the number one overall pick, could sit behind him and learn the ropes of NFL quarterbacking. He was well on his way to winning the job when, shortly before the season started, he cut his toe open, requiring several stitches, on carpeting.

Snakebit.

The career path of Darrius Heyward-Bey seems to be following a twisted path of picking the wrong QB to take reps with, minor injuries, and the burden of being a first round pick who hasn't metamorphosed into the second coming of Tim Brown yet. His sudden benching for TJ Houshmandzadehcalifragilisticexpealodocious by one Hue Jackson is purportedly for Carson Palmer's sake, but it is my not-so-humble opinion that Hue Jackson has decided that the Hyphen is not going to be an Oakland Raider beyond this season.

Let's hit the wayback machine, shall we? The Raiders were going to draft a WR that year. The Nation was clamoring for a pretty lil' thang from Texas Tech who made sportscenter(TM) with an upset special touchdown catch named Michael Crabtree. Hey, I'll admit it, I was screaming for him as well. Other people from the aforementioned teevee were predicting a burner from Mizzou who looked like Steve Urkel but ran like Usain Bolt named Jeremy Maclin. There were other, prideful Bay Area sports fans who said we should spend a 2nd rounder on a Cal bear who wasn't tall but made plays named DeSean Jackson. But this is, after all, the Raiders. Al Davis chose the speedy Maryland product named Darrius Heyward-Bey. When I heard the name called on draft day, my immediate thought was, "who in the (hell) is this (person)?"

I use a plethora of profanities, I'm censoring for the easily offended.

I can't honestly remember much of his rookie year. I vaguely recall the phrase "turf toe" being used a ton in association with him. On a side note, WTF is turf toe? I do recall he signed rather quickly, while the receiver we (I included) desired held out, demanding Number 1 money. Maclin kept getting mono, which I'm guessing he got from that one chick that "got around" Eagles camp. DeSean Jackson blossomed into a playmaker. Ja**** was our QB. Ugh, my brain hurts from all this thinking stuff, I'm fast forwarding to last year.

The carcass was on his way out, and a dude named Bruce was looking like the guy. The Hyphen, sensing the impatience of Raider Nation, decided to work out in the offseason with Bruce, getting familiar with a guy who could actually throw the ball to him for a change. Finally, he could break out and show the fans he could play. He was tired of the "DropsHellaBalls" moniker, and finally putting in extra time. Then the one and only Al Davis pulled a draft day trade for Jason Campbell and promptly wasted a ton of rhythm the Hyphen had built up. Now he had to figure out if Campbell, the next next next next Jim Plunkett (there's been a few), would win the QB job. There was a battle, after JC stunk it up a ton in the beginning, and when Bruce was in, the Hyphen knew he would be targeted. JC decided to go steady with Zach Miller, and Darrius disappeared often in games.

Okay, he decided this offseason. Bruce ain't gettin signed, Jason's my QB, Hue's my coach, might as well spend time with Jason gettin my reps, working on run blocking for Dmac, doing all the little things that'll make this team playoff worthy. The season started off good, and DHB was finally turning into the receiver I'd hoped he would turn into. Enter broken collarbone for Jason Campbell. Well Kyle is a giant pile of (insert your fave nastiness here) and no way was the Hyphen gonna see too may passes, but hey, can run block for Dmac, catch a few balls every now and then.

Enter Carson Palmer, via trade.

I firmly believe that Heyward-Bey needs those extra reps with his QB. He's a rhythm reciever. And for the record, I don't care in the slightest how he catches it, be it with hands, body or even helmet. It's better that he catches it with his body than straight drops it. But Hue has decided that he is expendable. Proof? We are now going with Ford, Moore, and Housh-oh-hell-i-give-up-you-spell-it as the third. Now the blind can pretend that oh, it's just until Carson develops with him, then he'll be alright. If you believe that, I've got some Arizona oceanfront to sell you. But Hue is building the team around his guys, and unfortunately for Hyphen-Nation, he's not one.