I have never left a game that I paid good money to go see until this past Sunday. I am one of the biggest homers you will find on this site. I am always trying to keep it upbeat and optimistic. I felt like the Raiders were better than they really are. These past two games were unbelievably awful. I was at Lambeau, but I left before half time. When it hit 24 to nothing I just could not take it anymore. I do not regret leaving, because I do not know what team that was but it wasn't our Raiders. At least not who they should be. The disappointed state I was in still has not evaporated, and I feel like I am not sure if it will until next year.
It seriously hurts to be a Raider fan, its that simple. All my life I have waited to see greatness. I got a taste those few years before the dark ages but I feel like that was a life time ago. I thought this year was finally the year that we would do something, that we would make the playoffs again. I have very little of that faith left. The Broncos rising from the ashes like a Phoenix is a fairly large part of my disgruntled attitude. At this point though the Raiders have played so badly these past two games that I don't even know if being in 1st place of the AFC West right now would have made me feel much better. This team quit, just straight up didn't even show up and it has left me bitter and mournful.
I hate feeling like this. It is not who I am normally but I just can't argue the facts of where this team is right now. Carson Palmer needs to stop throwing the freaking ball directly to the other team for one thing. I am not like Screwfish in thinking that he is hindering the development of the future with this team but I am extremely angry with all of the turnovers. We are not going to beat anybody if our Quarterback can't tell what jersey he needs to throw to.
I still believe after a full off season with the team and players that Palmer will be something special for us but I have lost almost all of my faith in that happening this year. I definitely wish Jason Campbell had never gone down, and I sincerely believe we would be a far better team THIS year with him. It doesn't matter because we can't do anything about that and we need to continue to move forward but after two horrible losses like these past two games I can't help but look back a little. I don't feel like next year's team would be better with Campbell, but I sure wish we didn't have to find out this team would fall apart like this without Jason.
At this point I am so upset with this team that I am begging for at least one more win. If we could win two more games and finish with a winning season I would hope to be happy with that. Looking realistically at that though I know that I still wouldn't be happy. I can't help it. I had some of the highest expectations for this team and missing the playoffs is a failure for us. I came into this season sincerely feeling like if we did not make the playoffs it would be a disappointment and I am very down in the probability that I am going to have another season feel like a failure.
This post has been somewhat therapeutic for me and has lightened my dismal approach to the rest of the season a little. Sometimes its nice to just vent and let the negative out. As I mourn these past two games (and in likeliness the season) I do feel my mind wander back to the three game winning streak we were on before the bottom fell out. If we get back to what we were doing maybe something can be salvaged from this season. There is still too much darkness left on my mind to get anymore optimistic than that. Man, it really hurts being an Oakland Raider fan. If only it was something I had a choice on! Well, even if I had a choice I would still choose the Raiders. Silver and Black Forever!