RaiderDamus Sees The Future Week 16: Raiders vs. Chiefs

Ahoy, Raider fans! It is I, RaiderDamus, the Poobah of prognostication, the alpha male of augury, the oracle of omens, and the World's Freshest Man. Today I bring to you the visions of the Great Beyond which have been revealed to me regarding tomorrow's game between the Chiefs and the Raiders. After the jump, I shall reveal to you all that has been made known to me.

Last week, the Chefs shocked the world by being the first team in 19 tries to defeat the Green Bay Packers. This does not mean the Chefs are good. This means that Greg Jennings was hurt and all the Packers' other receivers forgot how to catch the ball, and the Packers' top two left tackles had their knees fall off Greg Oden style during the game. The Packers had to pull someone out of the stands to try to block Tamba Hali. Needless to say, that didn't work too well. Hali nearly killed Aaron Rodgers.

To see what the Chefs REALLY look like, just see their game vs. the Jets two weeks ago. Right before we got our asses collectively handed to us by the Packers, the Chefs got just demolished by the Jets, in a whooping that was so one-sided and hopeless that the local CBS station I watched the game on switched to the Patriots-Redskins game in the MIDDLE OF THE THIRD QUARTER. The game was over long before that, but CBS didn't want any small children of elderly folk to be traumatized so they couldn't keep showing the bloodbath.

So the Chefs aren't all that great. Sure they have Kyle Orton now, but he sucks. He wasn't good enough to beat out Tim Tebow, he wasn't good enough to not be traded for Jay Cutler, and he isn't good enough to not be shipped out somewhere else when Matt Cassel is healthy. Orton is basically Curtis Painter with a neckbeard.

Last time we faced the Chefs, they beat us 28-0, yeah. It was embarrassing. It was Kyle Boller's big chance and he blew it, throwing three interceptions. It was Carson Palmer's first day on the job, and being totally unprepared he also threw three interceptions. Two of the aforementioned six interceptions were returned for touchdowns. So really, the Raider defense only gave up 14 points to the Chefs, while the Raider offense also gave up 14 points.

Carson Palmer is much better now. The defense is meh and needs a new coach, but while they were playing a proper scheme last week (that is, during the first three quarters) they only gave up 14 points to a very good Lions offense. The Chefs barely beat the Packers last week during a game in which the Pack could do absolutely nothing and punted the ball an absurd number of times.

There are a few things to remember going into tomorrow's game. First, Kyle Orton sucks and we already beat him this year. Secondly, Romeo Crennel sucks and isn't an upgrade over Todd Haley. He sucked in Cleveland and he will suck in KC. The Chefs were probably just so happy last week to not have to play for Todd Haley anymore that they decided to win. They will come back to earth this week and play to their actual talent level, which is "suck".

Raiders win, 27-17.

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