Wow, what a feeling, what a game. It amazes me sometimes the way my body actually starts reacting when I watch the Raiders
, my ears get hot, I feel a little thud, thud, thud in my chest. I'm generally nervous most of the time and doing endless calculations and scenarios in my mind. I pace, back and forth and back and forth in front of the screen. I talk even if I'm by myself or if no one is really listneing. Many times, I'm at work stuck in front of a computer and simply cannot leave where I'm at, watching the ticker, and the little dots with descriptions of play by play. I work in retail, and usually I'm very attentive of customers, offering as much help as possible, and being generally concerned about their questions and concerns. On Sunday's however, I might as well not even be there. It's probably not the smartest thing in the world but I am often short, directing traffic down the aisles, and trying to hurrily ring them up as fast as possible. Its really is hilarious when I think about it. This sunday (I live in New Orleans), they were actually airing the game locally. I brought my antenna to work and hooked up the back room t.v. which is normally used for training videos and such. Thankfully we were slow and I was actually able to see most of the game. Denarius's touchdown, Mcfadden's touchdown, a couple of our interceptions, the one where Matt Ryan got smacked while he was releasing the ball was awesome. I was standing there when the game was tied 13-13 and we were threatening down in the redzone, and I thought to myself "dammit Carson you better not throw a pick 6 here," and sure as shit it happened. I laughed, made sure no one was in the store, and like some sort of caveman I tried to smash a nearby shopping basket that was near me; the basket won, apparently they are made pretty well. What a team, what passion I have, and just like any relationship, what love I have for this team. It's like I have no control over the fact that I love this team. As I was driving home I was like damn, I love the Raiders and it kills me, I always feel so bad, it often takes between one and two days to forget about it. My thoughts often somehow drift back into, "what does this team need to do" or "man if they just on this one play" ad nauseum. I usually find some solace in Silver and Black Pride and in talking to family members, but damn, it's like being in a marriage without option for divorce. I simply love this team and will continue to suffer until I don't. You better have thick skin to be a fan of this team because they really know how to break your heart. Whatever! bring it on Jacksonville, I want a win dammit! The AFC West, as usual,still looks pretty much up for grabs. This team needs to tie a few together and build some momemtum and confidence. I loved the HEART yesterday, no rolling over that I saw. So far that showing of heart against PIT and ATL have been the most encouraging indicators that this team is moving in the right direction. Ask any football player what the most important element of being successful is, It's HEART! Lets go Raiders! I still and will always beleive in this team!!!