After multiple issues with a certain "new" computer and a dispute with my now former ISP I have finally returned from the darkness. It has sincerely sucked not being able to commiserate with fellow Raider fans after a FacePalmer int once again has me spilling my Widmer Drop Top Amber Ale while screaming bloody murder. But I have missed so much since I have been gone. Perhaps a brief recap will be permitted.
1. Those "Raiders" who finally departed. I am speaking about Mr Glass (Chaz Schilens), Stanford (Perennially) Routt(ed), and Ricky (how in the holy hell are you on a roster? Seriously? Did the late Al Davis lose a bet?) Brown. Looking at the roster and not seeing those names was better than winning the MegaMillions(TM) jackpot. And I got twenty bucks off that. Perhaps my atheistic/agnostic stance might be reconsidered.
2. Bye Baby Huey. I had some mixed feelings about the bold move Mack-10 McKensie made in the first hour but now appreciate it. Raider Nation needs a leader with some stones who is unafraid to piss people off. Now if someone, anyone on the roster outside of Richard Seymour would PLEASE step up to fill that role I would be ecstatic.
3. Welcome Dennis Allen. I'm sure my father heard "Raiders hire Dennis.." and for a brief moment thought Dennis Green (yeah, THAT guy) was the new coach and was happier than the proverbial pig in...Well, you know. So once again, the Raider roster must relearn a new scheme on offense and defense. Perhaps the new guys on defense will teach the valuable lesson of tackling and not being a complete idiot. That might help. Just a tad.
4. No more Bush and Campbell. We will miss Michael Bush and his ability to stay healthy and run hard up the middle. You embodied what the Nation loved about this team and you will be missed. As for the man I had dubbed Son of Ja, I feel that I wronged him by bestowing that name on him. He grew on me, and I think more than a few former Bruce Gradkowski fans as well. I will love watching you beat out Jay Cutlet.
I'm sure I've missed more. Now since there may/may not be a deity "up there" listening, a few more prayers to be answered.
1. Draft Killer Kellen Moore.
2. Smite Tebow. He's stealing your mojo. And it's been too long since someone has been smited. Or smote. I don't know the proper past tense for smite. I used English class for rolling joints and writing songs about adolescent angst.
3. Super bowl championship. I refuse to reduce myself to the level of a Browns fan and beg for playoffs or a winning record.
4, Oh yeah. I'm getting married. Can you make hunting season start either a week earlier or a week later than the wedding day? I don't want my brother's cologne to be doe-in-estrus or something like that.