RaiderDamus' Friday Foretelling: Raiders vs. Redskins

Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

RaiderDamus is back with another totally accurate vision of the future!

Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, RaiderDamus the legend in my own time, the prince of the preternatural, and the World's Freshest Man. I come to you today with yet another vision of the future, sent to me express from the Great Beyond.

Now, I give you these visions out of the goodness of my heart, and every week I see trolls and ne'er-do-wells come out of the woodwork to tell me what a doofus I am and how the things I say will never come true. Well guess what miscreants, RaiderDamus hasn't missed on a single game this year and has been very close on the scores. For the Jaguars game I was off by seven total points and correctly predicted the Jaguars would score nine points. On Monday the score was a cumulative twelve points off what I predicted. My point isn't that I am bitter; my point is that I'm pretty and I'm a bad man, and all the haters better recognize.Anyway, on to this game.

Oakland welcomes the Redskins to town on Sunday, This is an unfavorable matchup for Washington, as they like to run the ball and Oakland's rush defense has held up well so far this season. They don't run as well as they did last year because Robert Griffin has morphed from senior-year-at-Virginia Tech Michael Vick into Vikings-era Donovan McNabb by virtue of one lousy knee surgery. Not only has this robbed Redskins fans of the only thing they could get excited for since about five minutes after they drafted Heath Shuler, it has also robbed the Redskins themselves of any chance to be a competitive team.

Washington's receivers aren't doing Griffin any favors, their only good wideout is Santana Moss, who I believe was born during the Taft administration. Their one good tight end, Fred Davis, has been hurt this year and when healthy is approximately as athletic as Andy Reid.

The Redskins defense is also bad. When I say bad, I mean putrid, I mean 2012 West Virginia Mountaineers bad, I mean historically awful. Supposedly the defensive coordinator is Jim Haslett, but I suspect Chuck Bresnahan has somehow possessed Haslett's soul and is calling the plays from the booth. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

Clearly the reason for Washington's downturn is twofold- firstly, Robert Griffin is not himself. He can't run, he can't step into passes, and he has become totally one-dimensional. Secondly, the Redskins traded two first rounders for Griffin and a number of other picks as well, and as their team is aging they have little in the way of quality young talent to replace the veterans. This is pretty much exactly where the Raiders found themselves last year, and boy golly that sure went well, huh?

But RaiderDamus, you say, what about Terrelle Pryor? What about Matt Flynn? How can you say it's a bad matchup for Washington when we don't even know who will start at QB for the Raiders? I say this to you: Matt Flynn would have beaten Jacksonville (hell, my aged grandmother could have beaten Jacksonville) and he can beat Washington as well should he be called upon. Washington will be drafting in the top five next year. Oakland, surprisingly, may not.

After this game, I boldly predict that the Redskins will change their team name to the Brownpants.

Raiders win, 27-17.

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