I cannot speak for Raider Nation, let alone the entire football loving world, but I can speak for myself when I say: this is absolutely the worst and darkest time of the year for me. Typically, as the final seconds tick off the clock, and a new Super Bowl champion is crowned, the gloom and darkness of the offseason descends upon me. For 31 fan bases, the season ends with some level of disappointment. Ironically, the level of disappointment is not an inverse function of how long a team’s season lasts. If it were, the folks in Denver would be doing cartwheels right now instead of considering some type of Jonestown mass suicide. I winced just writing that, ouch! No, each fan base’s disappointment is a complicated affair based on several factors, not the least of which is the team's outlook. As a Raiders fan, when I consider the future, I am optimistic and look forward to our prospects as an organization and am intrigued at what free agency and the draft may hold for us. However, having said that, this is a dark dark time for me. How dark? I am starting to read other bloggers mock drafts on S&B Pride…multiple times. Because free agency, and especially the draft, are still months away, I know that folk’s big boards and mock drafts are fluid and constantly changing, so I keep checking in to see if anyone has uncovered some new prospect, or devised some new innovative trade down scheme that Reggie should consider. I am starting to get antsy about signing our free agents, like Jared Veldheer and Lamarr Houston. I get in a twist over what Vegas odds makers think of us, and would willingly go to war with them over it. I’m happy for Ray Guy but still more annoyed about Tim Brown. So, what is to be done to make the offseason more bearable? Let’s explore some of our options, shall we?
- Get a pet. Name them Raider, buy them a Raider sweater at Pet Smart and walk them everywhere proudly, even if it’s a cat! (chicks will dig this).
- Have a baby. There’s nothing like taking your mind off the absence of football like the distraction a baby can create. My friends are all having babies, and I can tell you, they are f***ing distracted. Oh yeah, and they’re not sleeping much, either. True story: I asked my friend, who was a HUGE Pats fan, who just had a baby boy, how he liked their chances at Denver. His response: "We made the playoffs??? Nice!"
- Get a second job. That job you have, I don’t think it’s taking enough of your time. Or, at least, you need a weekend job. You need to be busy on Sundays. Apparently, Amazon is looking for part-time workers for a pilot program they’re testing. All you have to do is order something from their "drone list", have it sent to your home, and then fill out a detailed form on how well the delivery goes. Cake.
- Get a new hobby. Play a new sport. Nope, being a Raiders fan does not qualify. Being a Raiders fan is a way of life, not a hobby. You need something you can do year round, before, during and after football season. Underwater hockey. No shit, this sport actually exists, and they might play it at a pool near you. Have you ever gone snorkeling? Then, you’re half way there. Not interested in the water? Then let me interest you in this: it’s co-ed, Clyde, and pools mean chicks in bikinis! Oh, now I’m speaking your language?!?
Write yet another mock draft for S&B Pride. Hell, you know I’ll read it. Repeatedly.
Here’s to surviving the offseason, looking forward to the future and staying way the hell away from Jonestown.