Welcome to our exclusive look at the the secret NFL lockout negotiations between the owners and the NFLPA. If you need to get caught up on the action—here is part one. As a small note, I should probably tell you that I am making every sentence of The Locked Out Lockout up. If anything I describe below actually happened it is purely coincidental. Also, if you don't have a sense of humor you can probably just skip this one. 

When we left off the action our participants were just arriving to the secret meeting location. Roger Goodell and Jerry Jones were just about to enter the secret base....

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If you read one thing about the NFL lockout situation...it should probably be something else. But, if you have read other things about the lockout, and you think the dramatics and tension involved with the inability to find a way to share $9 billion to play a game is overblown to the point of silliness, then this may be what you are looking for.

Disclaimer: As I prance through a world made difficult in ways that are alien to me I turn to humor to get me through without going crazy—or maybe I should say evil crazy. So, as the lockout has gone on I am beginning to see it all as the motions of insanity. I am going to repackage that vision in the Locked Out Lockout Dailies.

I plan on posting these sporadically until football returns. None of the events I will describe—unless a disturbing fact of a reality unknown to me—happened anywhere but in my head. The people described will typically not be done so in a favorable light. To them, or to anyone who may take objection to that, I will say, "Get over it." It is the only way this 450 pound blogger can deal with the frustrations of his shell of a life while wearing his lucky bathrobe and afraid to come out of his mother's basement. Let the games begin....

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