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I Actually AM That Upset

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Make the bad man go away!
Make the bad man go away!

Someone get me a refill, 'cause my cup is 1/8th empty right now.

To see a more level headed response to Sunday's whatever-the-hell-you-call-what-the-49ers-Raiders-just-did thing, read Saint's post below.

While he has every right to be numb from the past 1,000 years of failure, I am just not there yet with this team. So, as he said, "different team, same story," I whole heartedly agree, but it is that different team part that has me so pissed off.

Rewards are about expectations. If you are expecting a pitiful performance and you get a solid one, the reward is euphoric. If you are expecting a great performance and you get a bad one the reward is nausea.

Then there is what happened today. If you expect anything but a complete train wreck and you get a train wreck only wreckier you get Chris Farley being fooled into drinking instant coffee.

If you don't know the clip or watch it now this won't make as much sense.

"Sir, do you know that you aren't watching the Raiders 2010 offense, but the 2009 offense?"


"You are actually watching the 2009 Raiders offense?"

"What! You lied to me!" And then you start assaulting people.

I usually try to get some emotional distance from a game and then watch it a second time before I write about it. I'll watch this game again--when I am so numb from life that I need to hurt myself to see if I still feel. Until then, I am not a big enough masochist to feel the need to bear that flaming turd pile again.

I also have tried to get some distance. I've gotten away from football. I went for a walk; I played with my son; I had business time; I fed the poor; I found a cure for AIDS and I just negotiated a deal for world peace. Yet as I sit in the wee small hours of the morning, my mind wanders back to the dump the Raiders took and I am engrossed by the horror stench wafting off of it.

This is less about evaluation, than it is about therapy. Bullet point time!

  • I don't ever want to see JaMason Cussell ever play another down of football. I'm actually not sure I saw him play any downs on Sunday. So let me revise, I don't ever want to see him.
  • In fact, if I was never put in the unenviable postion of rooting for a person whose name began with Ja, it'd be ok with me. Fix Or Repair Daily. Takeo Spikes has always been a Ford man.
  • I hate Frank Gore's stupid face. I didn't realize how stupid his face was in the first half while behind his face mask. Then as he began to run through tackles with superhuman leg strength and they started showing his face in all its stupid glory. In fact, I hate most everyone right now.
  • Frank Gore's face mask is less about protecting him than it is everyone else.
  • If I was playing the Raiders, I'd hand it off every play. It is only a matter of time before they experience total team failure.
  • JaMason, if you aren't going to go through your reads, you have to make the throws you are locked onto when they are open. The bomb to an open Murphy made me break stuff (and not in a happy way). 
  • Maybe the Raiders think their Redzone O is fine, because it looks good against their Redzone D in practice.
  • JaMason Cussell is always seen with a scowl. Maybe he thinks it makes him look like he is intense or pissed off, but I think he is really just trying hard to not forget to breathe.
  • The return of Robert Gallery wasn't as big of boost to the running game as I hoped. Not that 2 yards per carry isn't good, but I think we expected a little better for our Bush.
  • The death penalty has been repealed. Death Ro, I thought you were improving? That kinda looked like the same mistakes as Week One today buddy.
  • Why didn't they pull Cussell when he started limping?
  • Why didn't they run that reverse to DHB? He may have scored.
  • There weren't enough safety blitzes and there won't be enough until they do it every play, because they can't guard anyone anyhow.
  • I am tired of only having 1/2 of our RB tandem healthy. It would've been nice for that dude taking the ball from Center to have Darren McFadden to mis-throw to. 
  • I can't wait for the fully healthy Dike McBush era. I am sure this will coincide with Chaz Schlitz's return.
  • The screen pass worked really well today. Oh wait, they didn't run it.
  • Did I mention I think JaMason Cussell is gawbage? He is total Muff Cabbage. Here is a picture of him:
  • 1014-southpark-snooki-video-1-credit_medium
  • I don't imagine most people click on the links, but if you were ever going to, do it this time. It'll help. We got links to help you get out your anger, tears and finally laugh it away. There's Chris Farley, NIN, Frank Sinatra, Flight of the Concords, Limp Bizkit and an awesomely funny and catchy song you'll never forget by a band you probably haven't heard of.