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There Is No Joy In Delphi

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It was an offensive performance, led by a QB named after a soup brand, that was so unbelievably inept that it defied its very visions that preceded it. Raiderdamus has fallen from perfection. For a reality, such as that performance, could not be fully realized until it happened.

I am still baffled that the great one was wrong. There must be another explanation.

Maybe there was a time changing gopher, like the one that helped the Browns beat Elway in Hot Tub Time Machine. Let's hope Raiderdamus didn't make the same bet as Lou.

Even more likely is the hypothesis that Raiderdamus was receiving visions from a tangent universe and someone, like Donnie Darko, altered the course of events and gave his life to close the worm hole in order to prevent the universes from colliding. So, just like Darko's altered universe--where Elway beat Doug Williams and the Redskins--it changed this game and we find ourselves in the universe where the Raiders blow.

I can't be certain which of these is the reality, but the only reasonable explanation is that it was one of them.

What I am now certain of is this: Elway was involved in too many of these things to be a coincidence and we can all just start calling him by his real name, Lucifer.

Also, since every single person picked the Raiders, Senor Damus will be going it alone next week.