Greeting friends and fellow followers. Gather round for the latest from and on the Great One. I realized I would have to travel by plane, before I was able to board the yacht, when I received a note from Damus reading, "I have taken my talents to South Beach." Damus is riding a hot streak and he has had two weeks off. As I learned this may be too much "reflective" time, for him.
The Yacht, Oracle Pleasure, was filled with the sibyls and although they were newly tanned, they were looking a bit disheveled. Two weeks of the Sea Air and a non-stop party can do this. Pesci, was face down in the pool, while DeNiro chucked the leftover martini olives off Pesci's pasty body. As they bounced off, De Niro would shout, "I knew you weren't talkin to me!"
"You seen Dam?" I asked.
"For Nicky, Vegas was the Wild West." He said while still staring at Pesci.
"No. RaiderDamus." I said rather hastily and then remembered who I was talking to, "respectfully."
"Nice kid, bright boy. What fuckin' balls on this kid. He's in the cabin"
So I walked past the Zombie Sibyls and to the Cabin. There, wearing a paranoid twitch and a nice suit was Damus peeking out from behind a mountain of white powder sitting on his desk.
"What's the good word Dam?"
"Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little prediction!" And he chucked a scroll at my head and began peering out the closed blinds of his cabin. The boat was now moving. I swam back to shore. Here is his soggy prediction. Let's hope it's the drugs talking.
RaiderDamus is back with more pugnacious prognostication for our persnickety fanbase. After consulting my charts and sorting out the "maybe" from the "must be", I have reached a rock solid conclusion.
The Steelers looked pretty awful against New England. They couldn't run, pass or defend particularly well. Also, their offensive line is a shambles. Their entire left side is injured and out for the year. Their defense is good, maybe one of the best in the league, but Tom Brady dissected them like a junior high student dissects a frog. It was bloody and messy and it made fans of the Steelers (the frog in this analogy) want to vomit.
The Steelers will not want that embarrassment to happen again. They will be better this week. They will run the ball, run the ball some more, and then when you think they're going to run it, Ben Rapistberger will throw the ball 90 yards to some no-name receiver (probably Mike Wallace) who will make a jaw-dropping catch, because they're the fucking annoying-ass Steelers and that's what they do. They're the luckiest goddamn bastards on God's green earth and I hate them. We all hate them, but that's beside the point here.
The Raiders are a good team, perhaps better than just "good" but these are the Steelers at home and we are due for a letdown. We will not be able to run. We will not be able to pass. Our special teams will get blown up. We will lose 40-17.
This game will not be a reflection of the Raiders, they are not really that bad. The rest of the year looks much better. This is just not going to go our way.
Swimming to shore I saw OldRaiderdude aka Damus Jr. swimming as well. "The yacht too much for you too?"
"Hell no. I was just on a beer run!" And then he gave me a much happier version of the future.
This upcoming game is going to be hard to call because we don't know what Steelers team is going to show up on Sunday. Hopefully for the Raiders' sake it will be the team that played the Patriots last Sunday if it is we have a chance of beating them if it isn't it's going to be real tough. I don't want to go against the Raiders so I'm calling the score at 28-27 Raiders.
As always, tell everyone your future and put the score in bold.