clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Oakland Raiders Draft Stefen Wisniewski and Highlight the Absurdity of the 2011 Lockout

New, comments

Before the announcement that the Oakland Raiders had selected Stefen Wisniewski in the 2011 NFL Draft he received a call from Hue Jackson and fellow Raiders coach, Stefen's uncle, Steve. Soon after the selection the news trickled out that every party needs a pooper and that's why we invited the Eighth District Court. The kill-joy court had granted a temporary on the ruling that disallowed the lockout. The lockout was back on. 

Among other things, that meant that the players could not have contact with the coaches. Which, in the case of Wisniewski, means he could not have contact with his uncle. Well, apparently the NFL is only in the business of ripping fans hearts out and not families apart. Stefen and his Uncle Steve can still talk to each other. They just can't talk about football.

I am guessing for the Wisniewski's not talking about football would be akin to me not talking to my uncle about drinking Budweisers. What are they going to talk about, the opera? Well, I was fortunate enough to get a transcript from the most recent family dinner hosted by Steve Wisniewski. Check it out....

Steve: Stefen, thanks for coming over for dinner. You are a welcome addition to the table.

Stefen: I've wanted to sit at this table for a long time.

Steve: You have earned it, and I have put out quite the spread for you.

Stefen: Nice! I got my eye on that 3.00 pound steak right in front of me.

Steve: Not so quick. Most of the time you'll want to rush right into that steak, but sometimes you are going to want that steak to go right past you, and let it think it is going to get to your Campbells soup.

Stefen: But I love my Campbells soup. I should protect it.

Steve: Oh don't worry. This time when the steak gets there it is going to find the soup no longer has a spoon.

Stefen: Then I could just go for those potatoes or veggies lined back behind the steak?

Steve: Exactly! And you are going to be able to devour those lined back dishes, and wait to take on that steak later.

Stefen: So, should I take the potato on the right side or these veggies lined back to the left?

Steve: Well that depends.

Stefen: On?

Steve: What old school tunes you are listening to lately? Run DMC or Bush?

Stefen: I've been illin with Run DMC

Steve: You take out the veggies on the right.

Stefen: Oh so you want me to open the screen door?

Steve: We are going to have some good dinners.