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RaiderDamus' Friday Foretelling Week 9: Raiders vs. Buccaneers

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What does fate have in store for the Raiders this week vs. Tampa Bay? RaiderDamus will reveal all.

Jamie Squire

Greetings, Raider fans! It is I, RaiderDamus, the count of clairvoyance, the prince of prognostication, the paragon of prophecy. Once again I bring you tidings from the Great Beyond regarding the results of this week's contest with Tampa Bay.

The Raiders and Bucs have played a few times in recent years. One of which was the 2002 Super Bowl, which the Raiders lost- something they had not done in a Super Bowl since the second one ever against the Packers. More recently, and perhaps even more surprising, the Raiders defeated Tampa Bay in a game in which Jamarcus Russell played (I am not making this up) very well. Yes, I know. Pick your jaws up off the floor, put away that sackcloth and ashes. The thing is, it happened.

But that is in the past now. We lost that Super Bowl because we traded Jon Gruden. Just think, if we had waited a few years we could have traded them Tom Cable instead, and messed up their franchise for the next ten years. This year, they are coached by.... let me check.... Greg Schiano, who is best known for making Rutgers University something other than a complete laughingstock. He coached Ray Rice and, umm.... yeah. Ray Rice. How about that.

Schiano is a good coach, unless you are Eli Manning, and then he is a colossal troll. There are worse things for coaches to be. For instance, a coach could be known as "a real Bill Callahan". The kiss of death, right there. It's interesting to note that Tampa tried very hard in the offseason to sign current Oregon Ducks coach Chip Kelly to be their coach, but Phil Knight pulled up with a dump truck full of cash in front of Kelly's house and that was the end of that. Had Kelly actually become Tampa's coach, this would be a very different article, and it would end with "Bucs 89, Raiders 10."

But here we are, with the Bucs having a meh offense and a REALLY bad defense. They have a good run defense, but since the Raiders can't run the ball anyway that's irrelevant. Carson Palmer is going to throw for, like, a billion yards in this game, possibly in the first half alone. Just in case their pass defense wasn't awful enough, they traded their one good cornerback, Aqib Talib, to the Patriots for three magic beans. The Bucs have played well the last few games, but the Raiders are also improving, and should be able to handle them.

Raiders 31, Bucs 26.