Greetings, Raider fans! The Great Raiderdamus has been delirious with joy all day for obvious reasons, but there is one more Week 15 game yet to be played. The Carolina Panthers will square off with the Washington Indigenous Persons in a game that is interesting only to people in our nation's capital and Panthers fans who want to draft Leonard Fournette.
While Washington is mathematically alive for the playoffs, they will need some help, and that help can begin with the Panthers steadfastly continuing to not improve from week to week. Cam Newton has become angry, and while a happy Cam Newton is an inspiration to young men everywhere to follow their dreams and sell themselves out for $180,000 st the minimum, an angry Cam Newton is the most unlikable punk imaginable.
On the Washington side, QB Kirk Cousins is living proof that it's better to be lucky than good. He was lucky enough to be drafted by the same team and in the same year as Robert Griffin III, and by comparison the Indigenous Persons are more than happy to give him untold millions of dollars to continue to not be Robert Griffin III.
Enjoy the game tonight, and enjoy the first week in 14 years that we don't have to worry about the Raiders making the playoffs! Tonight's game will be at 5:20 PM on ESPN and you can stream it on WatchESPN.