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For some years now, Captain Andrew Luck has logged the arduous trek of his regimen with the Colts of Indianapolis. This week, Capt. Luck’s letters to his dearest mother have taken on an especially heavy tone as he prepares for the battlefield against the pirates that await him in the land of oak.
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 19, 2016
This morning we begin our march to the land of Oaks. I blush penning this, but we're to battle in a dark orifice.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 19, 2016
Silver and black painted ruffians donning skulls and bones await our unit. They shall not loot my neck beard.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 19, 2016
Cpl. Hilton of the TY Falls tells me these Oak pirates were dormant for many years, but have become formidable.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 20, 2016
Scouts say the ruffians' leader, Capt. Derek, who was born in a horseless carriage, wields a proficient long arm.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 20, 2016
There shall be no time for squirrelwatching as the unit must drill daily for an early engagement. Pirates await.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 20, 2016
In a Frank discussion, Lt. Gore explained followers of the Oak pirates are a nation onto themselves. Perplexing.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 21, 2016
Scouts say these ruffians battle with a man whose arms are so great, they call him a tree, a Crabtree. Concerning.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 21, 2016
I hear tales these pirates are taught in infancy that victory is all that matters. We shall double our efforts.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 21, 2016
I have received your care package of cured raccoon thighs and neck-beard snake oil. These pirates shall be bested.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 22, 2016
Scouts say these Oak pirates' sniper, Sgt. Sebastian of Janikowski Island, has an accurate sight and swift shot.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 22, 2016
Sgt. Donte of the Moncrief Mountains tells me Oak pirates wear an eyepatch. I shall drill wearing two. Readiness.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 22, 2016
Spies sent false word to the Oak ruffians my shoulder bone and thumb bone are ailing. Worry not. I shall battle.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 22, 2016
Tonight, I shall sleep in a trunk to better understand these pirates' dark orifice land. The battle draws nearer.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 23, 2016
Sgt. Darius of the Butler Sandlands informs me pirates seek booty. Perhaps I shall battle barefoot. Strategic.
— Andrew
Dearest mother —
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 23, 2016
We have reached the Land of Oak. We shall follow the trail of bones and broken glass to the pirates' dark orifice.
— Andrew
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