“I think it’s a good thing,” said longtime sports fan, Lars Polifo on his favorite team’s recent transactions, or the lack thereof. “We don’t overpay for players. Our GM had a price in mind. Take it or leave it. That other team way overpaid for that scrub.”
“He is all about the money. If he loved the game, he would take less to come here. But clearly he just doesn’t want to be here, f*ck him.”
Lars is among a handful of sports fans out there brave enough to stand on their principles of standing in support of his team’s latest decision.
This ‘support the latest decision’ stance is nothing new for Lars. Just last offseason when his team was throwing down big money to sign players, even paying millions more for them than other players at the same position, Lars was quick to exclaim “That guy’s worth every penny! Our GM is doing work!”
Some analysts and sports reporters, or as Lars calls them “so-called experts” have at times criticized some of the more suspect decisions his team has made over the years, but through it all he is resolute that his team’s decisions are beyond reproach.
“They’re just haters,” Lars exclaimed. “They think they know better than the GM of a professional sports team.”
Even so, Lars admits there are times when he gets frustrated. He wants the players wearing the uniform of his favorite team this year to win and when they don’t it hurts and angers him. And like anyone else, he is prone to moments of weakness which can cause him to lash out with the occasional kneejerk reaction.
“Yeah, I have said some things I regret which I had to follow up later by saying ‘Hey, I hope I am wrong’,” Lars continued. “And in case anyone would dare question how devoted I am, I have my fan resume ready to roll out at a moment’s notice. I have been a fan since the ‘70s. Even in the lean years while fair weather fans and bandwagoners were jumping ship, I stayed true. Not to mention all the legendary players I can name drop as having met and watched play in their heyday.”
Being a “true fan”, as Lars calls it, is a fulltime job. It sometimes requires he talk himself into some of the moves the team makes or doesn’t make, but rest assured he WILL warm to it.
“True fans have faith,” Lars said with pride. “If you don’t fully support what this team is doing, you were never a true fan. Go be a fan of that other crap rival team, we don’t want you. Turn in your fan card.”
It’s bold stances like this that remind us courage comes in many forms. Today, and every day, should be Lars Polifo Day.
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