For the past few seasons, the NFL subreddit r/nfl which is one of the most vibrant football-related communities on the Internet has done a Friar’s Club style roast of each and every team in the weeks leading up to the beginning of the season. This year, the roasts began with the Vikings and the Cowboys, but on Day 3 it was the Broncos’ turn. The Raiders will get their turn as well, but it’s seemingly random so when that will be is anyone’s guess.
However, the roast of the Broncos today brought some real gems. If there’s one thing football fans know, it’s how to make fun of other teams. These roasts are also a good opportunity for fans to let off steam by busting on their own favorite teams.
Here are some of the very best comments from today’s Bronco-bashing party:
“The most successful QB Denver has drafted in the past decade currently plays outfield for the Binghamton Rumble Ponies.” -TheCrookedKnight, Eagles fan
“A few years ago, I was ‘dating’ this really hot/cute girl that I was real good friends with until we decided to take it further. But it didn’t go as you would think. We went on dates and all that, but that’s about it. We would hold hands and stuff but she never wanted to kiss or anything like that. I tried to make her and I official but she would find some shitty excuse to say she wasn’t ready. We would talk and text on the phone almost all day everyday. I spent a ton of money on things for her and took her out places but it never advanced. This went on for about a year and a half. A year and a half. And it never went anywhere. So one day I decided I was fed up and broke it for good. A few months later she found another guy and immeadietly became his girl and went on to have a long relationship. So all that time I spent on her was all for nothing and only to see her go on and finally get what I wanted all that time.
So now I can honestly say I know what it feels like to be Champ Bailey.” -FootballMan15, Broncos fan
“Vance Joseph literally looks like he is trying to figure out if his headset is working for like the first 3 quarters of the game.” -TheLuigiJets, Jets fan
“The Broncos were obviously bad last year, but you really gotta give them credit overall as an organization for their 3 Super Bowl appearances.” -TheElderSproles, Eagles fan and Reddit roast legend
“Vance Joseph. That’s it. That’s the whole joke.” -ADanishMan2, Broncos fan
“The Eagles beat the Broncos so bad last season they ran out of fireworks.” -TheElderSproles again
“Case Keenum has almost been on as many teams as Emmanuel Sanders had side chicks.” -Cam_Burglar, Panthers fan
“We beat you this year.” -liverbird3, Giants fan
“I can see it now:
Patriots-Broncos. AFCCG. 10 seconds left in the 4th quarter. It’s 15 degrees and lightly snowing, wind blowing. Denver on their own 39 yard line.
Keenum steps into it, pass is caught..
Patriots win 54-13.” -canigetawoopwoop, Vikings fan
“Elway has been studying the movie Office Space every night so he knows what to do next time he gets his ass whooped by a fax machine.” -NorthBlizzard, Vikings fan
“What’s wider, the gap between Vance Joseph’s teeth or the gap between Case Keenum and capable quarterback play?” -the_fuzzy_stoner, Jets fan
“The last time the Broncos had a good running back, OJ Simpson was at the wheel.” -NorthBlizzard again, ironcally bringing the heat
“The best quarterback on the 2017 Denver Broncos was still John Elway.” -vesvius, Eagles fan
“Broncos are going to miss Talib, it was the only time Broncos’ players were getting jewelry from playing the game.” -WiredEgo, Giants fan
“For this roast we should just re-use all the Colts jokes from last year.” -RaiderDamus, Raiders fan