If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re probably taking life a bit too seriously.
Several quasi-spiritual guides across the centuries have said something along those lines. Perhaps never has it been more true for two of the AFC West’s famous franchises than in Week 12.
The Raiders, of course, lost 34-3 to the freakin’ New York J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!
As if competing for this week’s superlatives article, not to be outdone, the Denver Broncos laid a figurative egg in Buffalo, also scoring just three points.
Between the division’s four teams, they scored six...yes, SIX points, in Week 12. Never mind that two of the division’s teams did not play.
There can be no Quarterback of the Week award this week. Both were terrible, and Mike Glennon was something else altogether.
Awarding a running back of the week would also be disingenuous, as Josh Jacobs had his worst game of his young NFL career. Philip Lindsay had 57 yards on 13 carries, so he’s the unofficial default winner since I’m not officially awarding this trophy.
No Broncos wide receiver caught more than one pass! No Broncos player caught more than three passes. Neither of those are typos.
The Raiders weren’t much better. No Raiders wide receiver caught more than three passes. And the poor rookie who did so, Hunter Renfrow, destroyed his ribs, literally adding insult to injury.
Neither team played much defense.
And though Maxx Crosby had another sack, it’s a bit redundant and backwards to award him Rookie of the Week when he played statistically worse than the week prior in an embarrassing loss. Denver didn’t have a rookie do anything better than that.
Instead, we’ll make this short and sweet. The Week 12 AFC West superlatives are as follows:
First to 3 (points)
In hindsight, the Raiders got off to a decent start in Week 12 against the Jets. The Raiders used an 11-play, 5-plus minute drive to start off the scoring in Jersey. It was all downhill from there.
The Broncos, meanwhile, waited to kick their field goal until the third quarter when they were already trailing 13-0. They at least improved as the game went on. That’s still not something to be excited about.
Most incompetent player
I already brought him up, but his (limited) performance was so poor it deserves its own category. Despite going 4-for-7, Mike Glennon finished with 20 yards passing—a 2.9 yards per attempt clip.
Not that QBR is the Holy Grail of statistics, but his was 1.9. And this was playing in garbage time when passing is supposed to be easy. Let’s just say it’s a good thing Derek Carr has stayed healthy this season.
Most boring team of the week
I don’t mean to pile on the Broncos too much. There’s plenty to be upset about with the Raiders. But at least they lost with style. Jon Gruden was quite the Tweetable interview in both his postgame press conference and day-after presser.
I searched for quotes from the Broncos and nothing that was said was even remotely interesting. I guess the fact that fans and media are clamoring for Drew Lock is interesting.
Actually, that’s shocking! Anyone ever clamoring for Drew Lock is mind-blowing.
But I’m not sure Vic Fangio has a pulse. He might be the least interesting quote in a league full of blah quotes. Plus, other than Von Miller, is their another player in Denver the casual fan would even know?
Who won the week?
For the second week in a row, it is without a doubt the Kansas City Chiefs. Not only did they get closer to an AFC West division title, their players were able to get out of Kansas City—it’s a beautiful city, but in case you haven’t heard, quite cold this time of year—probably for some R&R in a warmer climate.
Add to that, having an off week allowed the banged up squad to get closer to full health.
Honorable Mention goes to the Chargers, who didn’t have to see Phillip Rivers almost lead his team to a comeback only for something disastrous to happen at the end. Plus, they’re finally getting all-world safety Derwin James back on the field this week.